I desired to be as free as the clouds above,
drift as the wind blows.
shed tears whenever and wherever I want,
and vanish as darkness eats the world.
As I opened eyes in the morning,
the light tries to surprise me.
Giving hope when I needed not hope,
lending a hand when I need not help.
It’s too difficult to be alive when
everything around you was dead,
like carrying bags of frustrations,
holding on a rod of broken glasses.
I have been down in the dumps,
could not even remember happy memories.
I began to love staying awake on midnight,
where I heard nothing but calmness.
Night’s cold, the world’s dying with me,
the sound of silence gave me relief and freedom.
How satisfying it was to be alone,
and to make marks in my arms.
Nothing will change, nothing can mend this,
the spirit that I used to strengthen was broken.
It feels like swimming in a sea of catastrophe,
and drowned in a sea of grief.