We lay together,
field of golden daffodils,
that blooms in the Spring.
We lay together,
field of golden daffodils,
that blooms in the Spring.
“I was a SPED-FL (fast learner) student since Grade 1 to Grade but when I was on the fourth grade, I have not taken the entrance examination; as the school’s rule specified, whether you fail the exam or haven’t taken the exam, you will automatically be sent on the non-sped section. That’s it─ I became a non-sped student for a year. New environment, new teacher, new classmates and new books (different from what we have in our previous curriculum). Who would have ever thought that year would be one of the worst years of my life?
I became a consecutive top student in the class but everything seemed to be very difficult. Our adviser bullied me. She let me sit in the first row of the room, alone─ others were looking at me, it’s either they feel sorry about my situation or glad, I did not know. She did that because she thought I was responsible for a particular mistake, even though not. She spread the false news in the school. She said I was foolish, fucked up, a shit and did not deserve to stay in the campus. I was afraid, afraid of what other people would think of me, afraid of my parents’ reaction if they heard the issue (as if they care) and most of all, I became afraid if she will remove me on the top list but luckily she didn’t.
After that year I promised to myself that I will do my best to go back in the SPED-FL curriculum and thank God, I did.”
We often forget the memories we had when we’re on grade school─ possibly because we realized in ourselves that we’re still young that time, we only think of playing after class and do not even care whether we smell bad or not; or maybe because we chose to be alone while others were eating lunch with their friends or maybe those days were like whirlpools and tornadoes, so hair-raising, terrible and sad. Just like what happened to me, I was bullied by almost all of my classmates in elementary (perhaps they’re not aware that they did something that broke my whole self before because I did not even confront them in the first place), they made fun of me, my face, my smile, my gestures, EVERYTHING; while others were like audiences, they laugh whenever they want, scream and clap their hands like they won the biggest prize in a game show. I was devastated. What happened long time ago, made me strong as a person and helped me to pursue my dreams in life.
In the 28th of May 2017, my elementary classmates in SPED-FL, scheduled an ordinary get together at one of the newest KTV Station in Panabo City─ STATION 8. At first, I hesitated to go because I thought they will again, make fun of me like the old times. Part of me wanted to go and the other said stay. The first reason that made me pursue my spirit to join was because of curiosity, I was curious of their looks or how different they are now and second; I didn’t feel like staying in our house. I was afraid and excited at the same time.
June 3, Saturday. We decided to meet in our former school, Panabo Central Elementary School. Five of us met there; me, Nicole, a High School musical aficionado who easily get angry every time I steal her pink pencil; Kirstel, a famous math wizard who presided all these, and yes, she have the qualities a true leader should possess; Joanna, the girl who’s really fond of science, everything about science and history, I guess; and Edwin, my co-performer when we were chosen by our school to compete to the regional level of Balagtasan and surprisingly he has now a girlfriend and A NEW CAR!
While waiting for the others, we happened to see our former adviser. She was shocked. She kept on asking questions about how our life in college was, what brought us there and what courses we took. We started laughing and laughing. Reminiscing the memories; whether good or bad, nonsense or with sense and important or not.
After an hour, the 5 of us went to STATION 8 by riding Edwin’s car. It was fun. Many things had changed. We’re all matured which is actually a good thing.
At exactly 6:30pm, our 5 more classmates arrived, and we began to sing, eat and talk about different situations. There were many changes, Julie, stopped studying because she was already satisfied with her work and she travels everywhere; Charlyn, we always meet each other at school because she also studies in USeP; Iam, one of the smartest man I’ve ever witnessed way back grade school ; Val, was also there, nothing’s new, he’s still the tallest among us and Leica, Val’s ex was also there, she was very busy that time yet she did her best to attend the get together. 8PM, we ate dinner at Panabo Food Centrum. We also visited Jan, our classmate, because he was grieving for the death of his Grandmother, we stayed there for 30 minutes and we went home.
The best thing happened to me that day was that, I was able to face my fear.
In order to conquer our fears, all we need to do is to face it. It’s hard, yet it is the only solution for us to grow.
I will tell you the list of how the previous and this week became the worst week that I’ve ever had, probably this blog post talk about decision-making and saving money, which are both essential in the process of endurance (or survival). I’ve witnessed people who were really sad like it’s the end of everything, how they regret and how their lives were changed because of wrong decisions or choices. However, I have also seen persons who neglected the importance of saving money, and because of that; of course, they were unable to supply their own needs (and wants) which led them to get loans and finances or borrow money from their friends, parents, or anyone who they think could support them with their difficulties. They did not know, in the very first place, that to lend money from others would just add-up to whatever their burdens are─ they were not able pay their debts.
Isn’t it ironic? I already have these ideas that the two factors mentioned above were all noteworthy yet I didn’t even apply it in my own self? Okay, so here’s the list
1. Thursday, May 25, 2017. It was May 8 when I found out that my iPhone’s cord was not functioning well, so I decided to buy a new one; but because I did not have budget to purchase the safest cord for this sensitive phone, that actually costs 200 pesos, I temporarily bought a cheap cord from Juicy, a close friend. It worked. I used it for about 16 days. In May 25, my phone’s battery percentage drained fast (like 100% to 55% in just 2 minutes) and I was thinking that it has something to do with the cord. I became paranoid. I immediately went to Davao (because I was in our province that time, you know─ vacation!), bought the safe and new one, and went back to our province. That quick. I consumed 350 pesos in one day; but, buying a new cord did not solve the issue in this f─ phone.
2. Friday, May 26 2017. Every time I use the camera or cellular data, it (the phone) randomly shutdown which annoyed me very much. I researched in web as to how am I going to troubleshoot this phone and asked Apple Support several queries and they said restoring or resetting the phone will resolve the issue. I went to setting, and f─ I could not reset my phone because I enabled the restriction setting about 2 months ago and forgot the 4-digit code. I had several attempts yet I could not remember the code.
3. Monday, Morning, May 29, 2017. Before I went to Davao, I decided to buy a new pair of sandals, the same brand with the old one, Birkenstock. At exactly 10 minutes, I finally found the best pair and it cost 229 pesos. I was happy, I had finally expended my money into one of the most vital things I need. Heading to Davao, I confidently wore my sandals, heads up and proud.
At night, I realized, what I did was a wrong decision. Yes, I checked the sandals, whether it fits to my skin color or not; whether I will look rich whenever I wear it or not (lol). I did not check whether it is durable or not, whether it has a good quality or not and whether it is fake or not. The sole of the sandals started to get worse.
4. Monday, Evening, May 29, 2017. I and my friend, Phillip, went to Roxas Night Market to have dinner. After all, there are a lot more things that worth a celebration. But again, going there was a wrong choice. I did not notice that I was spending my money with foods, and drinks and ice cream which were not included in my budget plan. Yes, I know and understood that there are more possible ways to celebrate without spending much money with just foods.
5. Tuesday, May 30, 2017. The main reason why I went to Davao early was because one of our teachers (don’t know if she’s really a teacher or not) told us that she’ll let us view our grades and to watch movie with my friends. We waited her for almost 3 and a half hour, yet she did not show up ; a text message from that teacher popped-up into our class mayor’s phone telling that she’ll not make it today. I was disappointed. Really. DISAPPOINTED.
These experiences made me upset and tired at the same time. I have learned a lot and hopefully, these things would sink in the deepest part of my brain for the next time.
The last time I received a gift was on April 2016 when a colleague of mine gave me three G-tech sign pens and I felt glad because she knew me well─ I badly want pens.
I began to value and appreciate pens and mechanical pencils after Doc/Bro. Remel Gepaya, a close friend, a dentist and teacher at the same time, introduced me to the realm of pens which I never thought would become one of my interests up until now. In fact, we have much in common.
During that moment, he presented images and videos about pens in the web, and I was honestly flabbergasted because he had identified almost all the names and terms of each pen; from Fountain Pens, Jet Pens, Montblanc Pix Blue Ballpoint, down to Uni Koro Toga, a mechanical pencil. In fact, he has a lot of these which made me jealous (but we’re still friends tho haha).
Starting that day, I became more fascinated in collecting these stuffs, not because I want to do whatever pastime he was doing but because I surprisingly fell in love with this hobby, and it became part of my life as well.
In the 28th day of May 2017, last Sunday of the month, he whole-heartedly gave me two of his collections. I didn’t ask nor beg for these.
He will move to Canada, together with his wife Catherine Gepaya, who also became one of my closest friends among all the members in our branch, on the second week of June and perhaps, this was the reason why he gave me these, to leave a remembrance of him─ a memory.
I heard that they will stay there for 5 years and it’s a long long long time.
So, I’m relishing my 1-week summer vacation─ no, just vacation. And I’m going to spend this entire week with myself, of course, dad’s working and mom as well. No daytrips and no volleyball games, because my church friends were all busy with their own lives.
Apparently, I’m alone. Yes. ALONE.
Yet, I love being alone. Perhaps few of you feels the same way I feel, but being alone for me, means freedom, freedom to do whatever I want; being alone, at some point means being fearless. Being alone means being you; it is when you can openly unmask your whole self, because you’re not afraid and it is when you can scream aloud, feel sad and cry, and feel happy; it depends on what you feel.
But being alone in our house is different. I mean, the atmosphere is different. I didn’t know what exactly bothers me, like something deep inside is going to burst.
As I watched the living room, I have seen imaginary individuals, and happenings. All of a sudden, I remembered memories, memories that changed and ruined our lives. I remembered choices, choices that made this life a disaster. I have seen people, people whom I assumed would always be there whenever I needed them.
That thursday night, I tried to talk to the Man up there, seeking comfort; because I could no longer help myself thinking about all these. I want to embrace Him so tight, to follow His steps─ to be with Him. I want to die. No, I didn’t say that for you to pity me nor to think about the possible options I could do. I did say that because that’s what I felt. I know, it’s hard. It’s like I’m always sinking and drowning. And it’s sad.
If you’re one of those people whom I shared my problems with, thank you. Thank you for lending me your ears, thank you for the short-term relief, for making me glad and for accompanying me. I appreciate your presence, your words, and your care, and your help.
I will try my best to fight and to always look at the bright side of everything.
I hope you’re doing well, do not be like me
and put this in mind,
Date Written: 25th of May
CEd Falcons 2015: TEAM CIRCUS
Year 2015, when I first joined cheerleading or commonly known as cheerdance. I didn’t exactly remember what led me to confidently include my name on the list that day, perhaps because I joined a mini-cheerdance competition way back in high school, that’s it.
The training was really tough─ back-breaking (to be exact); it is different from what I’ve expected. I thought, that we’re just going to jump up and down, dance and cheer, and yell our squad’s name to the crowd but it’s actually not; we did stunts, jumps, lifting, splits, and tumbling. I needed to maintain my flexibility, strength, versatility, trust and bravery to lift my flyer. It was very hard for us to manage our time that moment; after our class which exactly ended at 5pm, we will proceed to our 6-hour practice.
Unexpectedly, I became one of the bases in our team, at first I thought I could not achieve any of the stunts being fed to us by our coach, but when I began to think that I should and need to do my best, I unknowingly did all of those; though it’s not perfect but at least, I performed it well.
For the 3-month rehearsals, I have built new circles; which made me feel less alone and became happier. Many people asked me why I complicate life in the university, why I joined in the competition, why I sacrificed my time and studies, and what kept me doing this thing even if it took me an hour to go home feeling exhausted and drained?
All I said to them was:
“I learned to love cheerleading; to create memories, to learn new skills and to build determination, and bravery.”
We placed 4th in this competition, and still, we are proud to represent the College of Education.
Soar high, Falcons!
On the year 2016, I have joined two (2) cheerdance competitions. The Intramurals 2016 of our school which held last October 2016 and the Milo Cheerdance Competition held at SM Lanang, Davao City.
Falcons Pep Squad 2016: TRAIN TO BUSAN
This is one of my most loved concepts ever! It was inspired by the famous horror-action movie in South Korea, wherein there were millions of zombies spread throughout their places. It took me a month to decide whether to join that year’s competition or not, because we have many requirements to comply.
But at the end of the day, I joined and it became one of the most memorable events in my whole life. I have met new people from the day and evening class students and we became friends, up until now.
We placed 3rd.
The most essential thing happened that night was, we won the hearts of the audience, and we made them enjoy the show as well.
USeP Jaguars All-Star Pep Squad 2016: MILO CHEERDANCE COMPETITION
THE BEST EXPERIENCE─ This was not in line with our school’s event, the competition held at SM Lanang wherein we brought University of Southeastern Philippines’ name; and this time as well, the USEP JAGUARS ALL-STAR PEP SQUAD was founded. The squad were composed of students from different colleges in the university.
Our concept this time was BUDOTS, a famous tribal dance founded by Bisaya. We only had a 3-day practice and out of our expectation we brought home the bacon, we won the competition; which led us to become very close with each other; those sleepless nights were all paid off.
The cheerdance journey that I had were really unforgettable. This sport helped me to value bravery, determination, to use my strength, open myself for more friendships and memories, and become more passionate in everything I do.
Now, that I’m an upcoming fourth-year student, I have two questions in mind:
First, “Would I still join the 2018’s Intramurals, knowing that I need to take this year seriously to pursue my main goal why I studied in USeP?”
I have witnessed how busy our higher years at the moment, they took most of their time making lesson plans and instructional materials for their demonstrations; or
Second, “Would I still join the 2018’s Intramurals, to gain more experiences since it’s my last year in the University?”
This was the best ride ever!
I arrived in the place
and quickly went down the plane,
“Finally, I had a chance to visit my dream destination!”
I was drained, so I checked in the nearest guesthouse
and napped for almost an hour.
I woke up and noticed changes,
everything was different,
including my room, my bed.
I was prisoned somewhere in New York,
unable to move freely,
to talk around with different people,
to observe how beautiful
and high the buildings are, day and night;
to walk along the city and meet new faces.
All I perceived was darkness,
nothing else but darkness.
In other rooms, I heard loud voices,
craving for care, and security
screaming for help, and love, and joyfulness.
Trying to find answers to escape,
seeking justice, and freedom.
And just like me, they didn’t know
why they were there.
I slept 4 o’clock in the morning, and didn’t mind the fact that we will have our first meeting for our Afro-Asian theatrical play at 8am in our college’s lobby, not even afraid with the piso–per-minute policy, which served as penalty to those who will come late. I did not intentionally slept at that exact time, it’s just I couldn’t sleep; I was bothered, and worried, I mean there were lots of stuffs running inside my mind these past few days and I didn’t know why it had to come back frequently. I was distracted, unable to focus─ overthinking.
I woke up, 5 in the morning. Obviously, I just had an hour of sleep, and it was not enough; it feels like I’m carrying the world, so heavy. I took a bath and wore my clothes, watched myself in the mirror and smiled. While on my way to school, I bought a candy, and I unexpectedly read a message from its wrapper telling, “Kaya mo yan!”
So I was encouraged to start the day right.
But in the afternoon everything dramatically changed, life’s truly unfair. No matter how I push myself to think positively, there will still sudden misfortunes that will arise. I didn’t talk to anyone. Perhaps, my school was one of the factors why I became like this. There were lots of requirements to comply and fees to pay. We also have loads of tasks to do.
I have been asking myself why, why I existed? Am I just here to receive all the dilemmas of the world? Of other people? Of my own family? I need answers, answers that would satisfy me.
There were times that I think it’s better to jump off a 15-story building to stay away from these
shits, to feel comfort, to ease the pain and to feel contentment. Physically and emotionally, and mentally, I’m exhausted. This isn’t normal.
These thoughts were making me weak,
These thoughts were trying to eat me alive.
It’s over, I guess.
Date Written: May 1, 2017
How heart-breaking it is,
when people walk away,
got exhausted of the things you’ve said
over, and over again.
They’ve constructed blockades,
and refrain dealing with you.
Perhaps, that would typical human-beings do,
when they get along with
“Friend” they called you once,
you made them laugh
at times they wanted it,
you removed all their loads.
You gave them words,
to uplift their wrecked spirits.
One Friday night,
you looked-for them, seeking help;
but they’re unreachable.
unable to see them, and feel them, either.
like terrorists implanted bombs in your body,
after a minute, it eventually burst, so painful.
Similar emotion when you were a 5-year old kid,
enjoyed frolicking everywhere with peers,
jumping and running around,
you unexpectedly fell in a rough ground.
It feels like living,
and dying at the same time.
Part I─ April 24, 2017
Traveling is wonderful in many ways. It enables us to engage ourselves with new cultures to live, foods to savor, highlands to climb and places to explore. An adventure, of course, is more fun and extraordinary when you’re with your best friends, who have the same likes and desires as you do. Others would say it is just for individuals who were already stable in their lives, perhaps, those people who were able to provide their necessities; it’s just for those who have careers and earn big salaries, but they’re actually wrong. It is for those who needed relaxation and comfort; for those who yearned for a perfect destination to eliminate all the burdens they’ve felt; for those who were stressed with their lives, and exhausted with those who surrounds them; for those who were physically, emotionally and mentally smashed, broken and drained; for those who craved for long vacations and road trips; and for those who longed for escapades. It is for everyone!
“Traveling is an extraordinary experience every person needs. It opens you a whole new world out there and reveals your inner strength.”
I and my close friends, Remel and Jhamal, decided to have a travel-venture. Our common denominator, was that we were addicted with quests and explorations; we found satisfaction seeing hilltops, verdant mountains, morning fogs, wild animals, springs, seas, white-sand beaches, falls and long-hour trips.
At exactly 5:35 in the morning, my friend, Remel, fetched us in our houses through his two-wheeled motorcycle. We packed in our bags extra clothes, pocket money, bread and canned-good. Unfortunately, I was the only person who brought water because they forgot theirs lol.
It was 5:45am when we began our journey to the hidden paradise of Camp Eleaga Camping Resort and Nature which was located at Lake Makaduhong, Malabog, Davao City. We were encouraged to go there for we have heard a lot of good feedbacks and read posts in social media about the said place. The weather was so cold that time; we’ve witnessed foggy areas and gigantic mountains. That moment, I’ve realized the pleasure of traveling through a motorcycle; we have seen stunning sceneries left and right, breathe fresh air. The most rousing part of the travel was that, we had a chance to take photographs in different spots whenever and wherever we want.
When we got to our last stop, we were welcomed by Jhamal’s ninang with her huge smile. It took us almost 50minutes to travel.
“Enjoy your stay”, she said.
For only 20 pesos, we have fully appreciated the beauty of nature and their man-made pool which was connected with the lake; however, we added 50 pesos for the table and chairs.
The best thing about the location was that, they preserved the entire environment.
We’ve spent our time swimming, talking about different stuffs, picture-taking, strolling around the place and discussing as to how the owner could possibly develop the tourist spot.
Away from home, one comes to understand what “home” actually is and what it means.
The bond that we had was worthwhile; no precise words can express how remarkable that day was and take note, everything was unplanned. We didn’t stayed there longer because I have to attend my classmates’ demonstration at 1 o’clock in the afternoon; if only I don’t have class that time, we would probably remained there, forever.
I could also consider this experience as the most unforgettable post-birthday celebration. However, we will be there again by April 28, 2017 together with the presidency officers.
Part II─ April 28, 2017
This time, everything was planned.
We departed from Panabo City at exactly 6:55 in the morning, two (2) new friends were with us, Christian and Joey; we brought cooking utensils, soft drinks and sautéing spices. At that moment, we were excited for the new experiences, but the feeling wasn’t the same back when we went there for the first time.
7:55 in the morning, we arrived at the place. We discussed different stuffs; about how are we going to develop the Church and upsurge the attendance, the dreams we wanted to pursue, our plans in life and the struggles that came along our ways. It feels comfortable when you open-up yourself with these people and allowing them to aid you in fulfilling your desires. I’ve learned many concepts from them, which will for sure support me in the future.
The highlight of that trip was that we got an idea, which was to come up with a video documentation of ourselves, and it was really fun! We went home exhausted but everything was worth it!
These are some of the images I captured during our second visit.
Importantly, if ever you’re planning to visit Camp Eleaga or also known as Lake Makaduhong, after reading this travel blog, you should be there as early as 7am-9:30am (10am onwards, the place will be crowded).
Adults (11years old above): 20 pesos
Children (10years old below): 10 pesos
Adults (11years old above): 80 pesos
Children (10years old below): 50 pesos
You can also bring your own tents or rent:
Tent Rental: 200 for a day
Table: 50 pesos
OTHER FUN ACTIVITIES
Bamboo Raft: 60 pesos for 2hours
Rubber Boat: 200 pesos for an hour
You can either ride (or rent) a car, van, jeepney or a two-wheeled motorcycle.
If ever you plan to commute by jeepney:
First trip: 10AM
Last trip: 4PM
Disfruta tu viaje!